:}

“You can only do so much and then you have to let the person be. That’s the difficult part about loving others - the point where you fight every reflex to fix what needs to be fixed so that they can get to the point of being okay on their own. When you think about it, that’s also how God works with us.”

—	Isa Garcia

she's tough, she tries to hide it. she's difficult. but if you make an effort, she's worth it.

Saturday was pretty hectic for me. had a friendly tennis competition in the afternoon, at 3pm!! the sun was scorching but I'm glad to say that the sunblock was efficient. :D

anyways, I represented dad's company in mixed doubles cause there was no girl representative from his company. ngehehe! dad was supposed to be my partner but he bailed on me! So instead he had his colleague be my partner. he's Indian and his name is Rohit. HAHA!

okay if you didn't get it, I have an ex classmate whose name is Rohit too. just find it funny hearing my dad call him that. LOL

;D

x
 at 8pm, attended Kenny's surprise party. it's been awhile since I saw him, and he's like a brother to me so I'm really glad I went. haha.

the surprise was a total fail.
we got the heads up that they were coming a little too late, and the workers haven't even light the candle so yeah. I was in charge of taking the video, when Kenny walked in everyone started singing, then seeing that the cake wasn't ready, everyone slowly stopped wtf and slowly proceed to sit down. HAHA

met many new people there, since more than half of the table were strangers. -__-
just really glad that I had Jac and Cass there to suffer the awkwardness with me.

Geraldine (new friend) , me and Jac.


x

and just so happens it was Sin Khiew's birthday too that day. :O
they went to her house to surprise her, but sadly I couldn't join that cause I had the dinner :\

thankfully they had a plan B ---- Cheerie Berries.

funny thing was, when we met, another friend of Sin Khiew's said she saw Sing Sien and her friends in Pool Master. haha!! I'm like :O :O :O !
so we went up and sure enough they were there. it's like three gatherings in one night. xD


it was my first time in CB. kinda prefer it over Celebrities, not so overpriced as well. :)
and one of the singer there is so..... hot. T_T
I almost teared at how perfect his face is. how can he be so cute??!

and Sin Khiew was high as always. I swear I look like an old hag standing next to these young people. -_-
they're shaking and dancing and moving their booties and I'm like meh. sitting on the chair and looking around. bahaha

as a good friend, I HELPED TOOK THIS PICTURE!!! ^_^
the guy was funny too, he saw the first pic I took and said no no no retake. LOL!


and as Eugene and Sin Khiew were leaving, ah Ben (who just so happens to be sitting next to our table) offered to help me take a pic with the handsome guy!!

i was torn, go home or take pic?? but what if I look shitty?!?!?! WTF HAHAHA DILEMMA OKAY!
but in the end I gave in, oh damn. heart beat got so much faster as I approached the stage. and there he was so flawless. damn that pretty face ughghghghghg.

haiyyy I swear he looks even better in person. and fuck look how big my face is compare to his. should've asked him to lean forward. T_T

<3 <3 <3



P/s

I have got to look more attractive in pictures man. why can't I look how I look in my vain pictures huh? :(

paiseh my eyes aren't that big. I edited it using an app on my phone. I know you want to know, so go ahead and thank me. it's called "PE-Fotolr".

it looks like this ---> 

cheese tarts!

today was productive!
we had breakfast at 2020, then after we headed to Servay to shop for the materials to make cheese tarts. :B

first of all, during the lesson all I noticed was the cheese cream they used. I took for granted the other important stuffs like butter and flour! so in the end, we didn't know which to use and just chose a random one. big mistake there.

our first trial of tart skin was a big fail!! the color of the flour is ORANGE! wtf. *cringe* but it tasted okay, kinda biscuit-ty but it breaks once we take it out from the mold. :(

we gave up after that, and instead skyped with Bryan and Terry! haahah

so funny.
we even stalked hot guys on tumblr and google :P

Francisco Lachowski
Alex Pettyfer (both of them finally agreed to my taste)
Chris Hemsworth
Chris Evans

hahaah

guess who has two new wallpapers for her phone?  :D


okay so back to the cheese tarts.
after SS and Kri left, I tried to remake the tart skin with flour and butter i found at home, cause the problem with our first trial was the flour!

it was a success !

watching it cook was pure bliss.

but I soon realize there was still a lot to improve on.

let me list down some of the things I need to remember! haha

1. don't mix Oreo with the cheese filling, it becomes too sweet and looks weird. :\
2. don't use the flower shaped mold! the top of the crust burns easily and looks hideous. :S
3. advised to pour milo powder on the cheese tart before baking. looks more attractive hehe.

yeah. sexy tart with Milo powder on top.
still lots more to improve on though - the crust is not like those selling in shops? it's a little too crispy? haha. idk man. another proof I'm not meant for the kitchen. D:

Beastly

 "I was just scared that you didn't..."

"didn't what??" 

"love me...."


" but you took one look at me, and still said you've seen worse. and somehow, when I'm with you, I don't feel ugly at all. " 

"that's because you're not." 

Lindy and Kyle - Beastly

今晚有点开心不起来。。

怎么了？好久没有这么low了。有时候就是因为自己多事，每次都在脑里安排这安排那，结果最后做不到，然后就伤心一整天。
不可以这样了。不要再折磨自己了！

人勒，就是要活得快乐，不要让这种小事毁了一整天。
可是我真的好想哭，好想哭。。
同时也很想笑，笑我的一无所有！一个人怎么可以可怜到什么都没有啊？可笑的是，我就是真的什么都没有。
期待那么久了，结果一切破灭。人都这样的吗？说话一点都不算话。

despite everything

gosh i've no idea why I'm suddenly so obsessed with having the 'vampire look'. damn it. hahaha. but yeah I think vampires are really pretty.

so I splashed on tonnes of BB cream, but still not fair enough. >:(
if you were wondering, the pic above is edited to make myself seem fairer.
i love it HAHA <3

I'm a noob when it comes to eye shadow. can never apply it. I dab it on but nothing's there.
what more to say the fierce vampire look, the no-smile seductive face. damn I can't get that face without looking like i'm suffering from constipation. *cry*

I'm just really happy with the pic above cause it's the most decent vampire look I pulled off.

 this is non-edited. yay to good lighting. :D
I only did the make up for one of my eye. just to see the difference but there wasn't much difference. -_-
I really need to learn how to use eye shadow! I need it to emphasize my vampire look yo. tsk tsk.

okay that's it for this post. was feeling super vain :p

and super sad. did you know I actually opened the hidden box that I've kept deep inside of me and unleashed all the monsters inside? and being kept for so long, these monsters are angry, hungry, and excited, they will hunt you down and .. cause havoc. that's just how I am tonight. like a tsunami wrecked city, with everything inside of me turned upside down. feelings I've never wanted to feel suddenly became so real. it shouldn't be there, it should be where it was, hidden, from everyone else and also myself. I function better that way.

Believe it or not, I do not want to feel.

you used me but see the thing is, I don't mind.

old pic of the rainbow mirror screen protector I used. (it sucked)


today's a pretty bad day. but I liked the way I handled it. I actually confronted and just say what I have to say instead of bottling it up like I always do. that's amazing, though I sure hope I didn't cross any lines.

you never know what would happen if you don't say things out. ahh don't really feel like talking about it. I'm not really myself lately. I wonder what happened.

maybe i'm a vampire

ever noticed how flawless vampires are? must be because they sparkle.
and yes, that's Brad Pitt.

x
so I have a friend who has this special ability, where she can just let everything go and move on with her life, the moment she tells herself it's time. I really admire that part of her, how strong she is.


well the thing is, I too have a special power of my own. I can be so much in denial until I forget how much something is supposed to matter, because I keep telling myself that it doesn't. I can shut down my feelings and pretend it never crossed my mind.

on good nights, I end up laughing about it; on bad nights however... I go over to Twitter to rant my heart out, and replay sad emotional songs all night. haha. that's how I roll. and lucky you, or rather, lucky me, tonight's a good night. :)

sometimes I feel like I'm a vampire though, like in Vampire Diaries, the vampires can switch off their feelings. what are feelings for anyways? it's so humane, who needs it?

most vampirey photo I can find of myself. eee old pic with my long loooooong hair.
anyways, every vampire needs a hot partner to spend eternity with, right?


so here's mine:

oh bby <3

He turned me btw. and I must say I don't mind at all. 

blood > friendship

they say blood is thicker than friendship, I cannot agree more.

 when you're in trouble you will know who your true friends are.
 who will be there for you and who would just turn a blind eye.

today I fell in love..

this song. this song!! 

never knew I'd be so in love with a song. this is seriously one of the best songs I've ever heard. not overrated like some. the girl's make up is nice, especially the little heart. I loved the piano part at the beginning, and throughout the song as well. and the lyrics! <3 

you're hard to hug,
tough to talk to
and i never fall asleep, when you're in my bed
all you give me is a heartbeat
i've turned into a statue
and it makes me feel depressed
cause the only time you open up is when we get undressed

you don't love me,
big fucking deal
i'll never tell, you how i feel
you don't love me, not a big deal
i'll never tell you how i feel

it almost feels like a joke to play out the part
when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart
you know i'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role
if i can't get the starring role.

sometimes i ignore you so i feel in control
cause really, i adore you, and i can't leave you alone
fed up with the fantasies, they cover what is wrong
come on, baby, let's just, get drunk, forget we don't get on

you like my dad, you get on well
i send my best, regards from hell

it almost feels like a joke to play out the part
when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart
you know i'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role
if i can't get the starring role

i never sent for love, i never had a heart to mend
because before the start began, i always saw the end

yeah, i wait for you to open up,
to give yourself to me
but nothing's ever gonna give, i'll never set you free
yeah i'll never set you free

it almost feels like a joke to play out the part
when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart
you know i'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role
if i can't get the starring role.

"Starring Role" - Marina and the Diamonds