despite everything

gosh i've no idea why I'm suddenly so obsessed with having the 'vampire look'. damn it. hahaha. but yeah I think vampires are really pretty.

so I splashed on tonnes of BB cream, but still not fair enough. >:(
if you were wondering, the pic above is edited to make myself seem fairer.
i love it HAHA <3

I'm a noob when it comes to eye shadow. can never apply it. I dab it on but nothing's there.
what more to say the fierce vampire look, the no-smile seductive face. damn I can't get that face without looking like i'm suffering from constipation. *cry*

I'm just really happy with the pic above cause it's the most decent vampire look I pulled off.

 this is non-edited. yay to good lighting. :D
I only did the make up for one of my eye. just to see the difference but there wasn't much difference. -_-
I really need to learn how to use eye shadow! I need it to emphasize my vampire look yo. tsk tsk.

okay that's it for this post. was feeling super vain :p

and super sad. did you know I actually opened the hidden box that I've kept deep inside of me and unleashed all the monsters inside? and being kept for so long, these monsters are angry, hungry, and excited, they will hunt you down and .. cause havoc. that's just how I am tonight. like a tsunami wrecked city, with everything inside of me turned upside down. feelings I've never wanted to feel suddenly became so real. it shouldn't be there, it should be where it was, hidden, from everyone else and also myself. I function better that way.

Believe it or not, I do not want to feel.