because it always hurts the same.

idk why. this quote just really touches me.

i don't smoke, i don't drink, and i definitely don't do drugs. nope, no suicide urges too. in plain sight, I really don't have anything to do with this quote. but it just moves me! why? I don't know why.

maybe it's the 'addiction' and 'hurt' and 'pain' and 'shame' and 'crave'.

so many things in life we just can't have. so many wants and needs and craves and attention we seek, but find nothing in relief. sad? well that's just life. not worth stopping your time for. just move on and be gone with it? haha

sad thing is, it stays in your heart. whether you realize it or not. it's hard to admit it sometimes, but everyone has something they want so badly but clearly cannot have. for me, idk, I guess I just always wanted to be loved. and I know I never admitted, but I do love attention. I know with everything that I am, attention doesn't belong to me, therefore I keep quiet and accept the fact that I may never have it. also, maybe everyone thinks i'm just saying it for fun, but idk I just really like the idea of a 'fairy tale'. the perfect happy ending. but will that happen for me? i don't know. I honestly don't know. not gonna put my hopes up for nothing though, that's why I just read about other people's story and try to be happy for them, sincerely.

:'D

‎"And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

 

- Gigi (He's Just Not That Into You) 

how to be happy ?

dream room. 

oh gosh. there's just too many reasons to be unhappy lately. 

- my shoes from Zalora just came and I don't love them. idk how to go on with my life anymore lmao

- the pair of Toms I had my eyes on in Asos went out of sale. WTF 

- so many birthdays coming up, I.FEEL.POOR.ALREADY. 

- so many assignments and tests

- no motivation. not even the slightest :( 

- it's the end of the month but pay day feels so far away. :C 

lmao. i'm just crapping ignore me. it frustrates me how easily I let money affect me. seriously, whenever I'm short on cash, my nerves go all haywire. I get angry, crazy and just plain stupid whenever that happens. so yeah. I guess i'm special cause I don't need to be having my period to experience PMS. 

cheers to me. if you didn't think that was funny then obviously you're jealous you're not as witty as i am. bleh 

tumblr = life

one of the most inspiring things i've seen on tumblr.

be afraid, but do it anyway. 

it's time for the goodbye

maybe it's the fact that people around me are leaving again, maybe it's how unfairly i've been treated today, maybe it's how I try so hard to be okay with things that i am not okay, maybe it was the way you looked into my eyes, maybe it's how i'm constantly grasping for things that are out of reach, maybe it's just the way i am. maybe all of these maybe's, are the reason maybe, why i am sad.

it's gonna be just me again in Miri. bye my beloved awhyo. take care wherever you are. study hard. and work hard for your dreams.



P/s
it kinda sucks to be stuck in the same place all your life. i mean, i do appreciate the people who are here. it's just sometimes, I wish my life was more adventurous. yea well. i can only dream. 

something worthwhile

Haven’t you ever had a dream? Something you wanted so bad you’d do anything?

–Hercules