i write poetry for...

 certain poetry is for the depressed

for those wanting to feel something, anything

to feel so many feelings at once

it suffocates them to the point of explosion, combustion

and finally,

nothingness.

i watched a movie last night, and it didn't make me feel what i wanted to feel

  ❝I feel like this week you're looking around going "How did you not notice I wasn't okay?" and unintentionally placing blame on your loved ones for not taking the time out of their day to see this themselves❞

i hate feeling this way

 "there goes my heart

manifest outside of my body
draped in the towering silhouette of a most unusually handsome boy

magical and haunted
kinetic and tortured
ethereal and dangerous
cosmic
lawless
eternal
creative genius

the journey will likely be perilous
but there is no destination without him"

-Megan Fox

thank you for this beautiful, beautiful poem, Megan Fox.

not sure what side of the bed I woke up today, but somehow I woke up feeling extremely sad and emotional. Like everything that I've been trying my best to suppress just comes gushing out, all at once.

I hate feeling this way, but I do miss it, somehow.
sometimes I think, "hmm... been a while since I felt the sadness, hasn't it? where's it gone to?"
then I tell myself I don't miss it, but secretly I wonder where that feeling went and whether I'll ever feel it again. Well, I guess it's never left, cause here it is again.

I hate feeling this way; like I'm not good enough and don't deserve anything. You ever felt that way? Like you want something so bad, but you tell yourself you're not gonna get it. Because that's life, and because you tell yourself you don't deserve good things long enough you start to believe it.

so what now? do I embrace this feeling, or do I suppress it like I always do?

I'm sorry, my dear blog, for only coming to you when I'm sad.
you deserve better.

Tokyo Ghoul

so i've been pretty into animes lately... something i used to go 'ugh can't relate' whenever someone mentions it. 😐 

anyways, there's just something about Tokyo Ghoul... it makes me feel things inside. i like what the author is trying to portray. maybe it reminds me of myself way back when i was posting sad quotes and shitnot from tumblr. that kinda vibe, that kinda feel. it stirs up something deep inside, y'know? even the protagonist's name sounds so cool - Ken Kaneki. he looks pretty darn cool too, especially the part when he... well, i don't wanna spoil it for you now. hahaha but it happens at the end of S1! and all of S2 too. i'm at S3 now and well, he sort of turned into someone else? someone more cheerful and idk it annoys me lol!! bring back broody, sad, angry Kaneki pls. -.- 

Tokyo Ghoul quotes dump: 

“In choosing both, you lose both.”

“It's better to be hurt than to hurt others. Nice people can be happy with just that.”

“The wisdom that sleeps
In the written word
Is overcome by a despair
That lurks within”

“You’re always unsteady, ready to slip at any moment. That’s why everybody can’t take their eyes off you.”

“Why is it that the beautiful things are more intertwined in death more that life?”

love their friendship