Kill Your Darlings

"He loved you. And the truth is, once, you loved him back.

But the secret ate away at you.

So in Chicago, you tried to kill yourself.

He rescued you

He saved your life

You needed him as much as he needed you.

Some things,

Once you've loved them,

become yours forever.

And if you try to let them go

they only circle back and return to you.

They become part of who you are

Or they destroy you."

"Be careful

You are not in Wonderland

I've heard the strange madness 

long growing in your soul

but you are fortunate in your ignorance, 

in your isolation.

You who have suffered

find where love hides

Give, share, lose

lest we die unbloomed." 

"Another lover hits the universe.

The circle is broken.

But with death comes rebirth.

And like all lovers and sad people,

I am a poet."

"He wants my help

and I don't know if I should give it to him.

I don't know if it's right.

It's just a mess.

- You let him go.

- What?

- Don't help him.

- I can't, Mom. He's my best friend.

- Listen to me.

The most important thing

your father ever did was fail me.

You understand?"

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x

watched Kill Your Darlings this morning, and I had very high expectations of the movie - mainly because my current love Dane deHaan (Harry Osborn from the Amazing Spiderman 2) is in it!!

I had a good excuse to be worried. Since the week began, I've been spending my time watching the movies I've downloaded in the past. Most of which were downloaded out of a certain fandom. and if you know me well, you'd know that these fandoms usually don't last very long (ha ha). So I end up downloading shit movies just because a particular person's in it. Let's just say out of the two movies I watched daily since Monday, one of them would be shitty. 

So I did research for this movie! and to my delight, it received good response from Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB! hehe a good sign ;) 

Then I watched the trailer. (I sound so pathetically hooked I'll look back few months from now and facepalm myself) and read a little bit of the synopsis. heck, I even googled what Beat Generation was! that's how much in love I was. I was so afraid I wouldn't enjoy the movie because I couldn't understand so I did everything possible to make sure everything would go right. haha!! I never knew I can be this dedicated. ngek

thankfully, the movie did not disappoint. I watched the movie twice!! hahaha to be fair I went about sweeping the house and just let the movie repeat LOL! but still, every time I walk pass my tv I would just stop and admire that beautiful face of Lucien Carr. yeap, that's Dane deHaan's character's name. sexy as fuck. I rarely say this, but seriously, Dane deHaan okay maybe I shan't go there.

have you ever loved a moment so much you wish it would last forever? that's how I feel about this movie. I wish I can remember every scene with him in it and how I felt seeing him on screen. but I know that with each passing minute I remember less and less, and it's actually making me sad. I want to stay in that moment.. forever. :( idk why I'm feeling like this. post-period-emotional-roller-coaster, perhaps?? or maybe, there's just something to that face. and that voice. and those eyes. did I mention that Dane deHaan's voice is so sexy, yet nerdy at the same time? and every time he raises his voice, it shakes and makes him sound like a whiny teenager? haha sigh. 

oh my gosh I sound so pathetic but I really need to rant. I hope one day I'll find someone close to Dane deHaan's sexyness and drown myself in being infatuated with him. fuck my fucking life lol. just fuck all these feelings zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz fuck T.T 

okay. pictures of the hottie. and to those who are going to watch the movie. please pay attention to the part where he brought Allen to a party, and to the exact moment when he said "Allen in Wonderland." 

I literally fucking died when he said that (okay not literally literally lol). but I cried at how sexy that voice was when he said it!!!!!!! I was like the shit I would do to have him say that in my ear. it would be damn easy for him to turn me on wtf just saying. URGH STOP THE FEELINGS PLEASE GO AWAY. OKAY BYE. ENDING WITH GORGEOUS PICS OF MY BABy.