does it make you crazy? to think he saw you
Monday, 20 October 2014
Wednesday, 1 October 2014
Wednesday, 24 September 2014
it's like you want the pain to end, but you don't mind it staying
someone requested i blog more. haha. sometimes it makes me feel like what's the point? no one would bother to read anyways. all visitors/comments i get are spams. pfft
anyways, working life is so so. nothing much going on, still clueless about life. which got me thinking, maybe this is life. you don't grow up to a certain age and just suddenly figure out all there is to life. nope. that's the thing about life - you never know what's ahead, what's next, you just dive right in in hopes that whatever decision you make changes your life, in the best way possible.
there are many things in our lives that we get to decide. we are, in fact, in control of our own lives. we can't decide how our day will go, but we get to choose how we handle it. on top of that, we also get to choose who hurts us, who affect us, who breaks us apart.
i'm no good at decisions. i suck at it, actually. you ask me what i want to eat, i'll tell you that i'm fine with anything. you ask me whether your new hair cut suits you, i'll tell you "okay ah." the rare times, however, that i do make my choices, well let's just say that - they suck. people watching me make my decisions cannot fathom why i do the things i do, when i know very well it's the wrong choice, that this decision of mine will break me and tear me into a million pieces. they say you're blinded by your own decisions. i'm not. i know exactly what i'm doing to myself, and yet i still stick by my choices. i've always been a fool, but only because i choose to. i don't, however, know why i choose to be this dumb. maybe i just like to feel the burn. i'd like to think that who knows? maybe this time round it'll work. it never does. because i reach for things that are way beyond my limits, things that do not belong to me. it's like wanting to live in the Sun, knowing that her heat will destroy you, yet still holding to that strand of hope that maybe, maybe the scientists got it all wrong. do you see how dumb I am?!
anyways, here's the end of my rant. my life will not be my life, if i gave up on all these things that make me sad. don't get me wrong, in a very weirdly twisted way, i like being sad. i don't know why. it's like you want the pain to end, but you don't mind it staying.
anyways, working life is so so. nothing much going on, still clueless about life. which got me thinking, maybe this is life. you don't grow up to a certain age and just suddenly figure out all there is to life. nope. that's the thing about life - you never know what's ahead, what's next, you just dive right in in hopes that whatever decision you make changes your life, in the best way possible.
there are many things in our lives that we get to decide. we are, in fact, in control of our own lives. we can't decide how our day will go, but we get to choose how we handle it. on top of that, we also get to choose who hurts us, who affect us, who breaks us apart.
i'm no good at decisions. i suck at it, actually. you ask me what i want to eat, i'll tell you that i'm fine with anything. you ask me whether your new hair cut suits you, i'll tell you "okay ah." the rare times, however, that i do make my choices, well let's just say that - they suck. people watching me make my decisions cannot fathom why i do the things i do, when i know very well it's the wrong choice, that this decision of mine will break me and tear me into a million pieces. they say you're blinded by your own decisions. i'm not. i know exactly what i'm doing to myself, and yet i still stick by my choices. i've always been a fool, but only because i choose to. i don't, however, know why i choose to be this dumb. maybe i just like to feel the burn. i'd like to think that who knows? maybe this time round it'll work. it never does. because i reach for things that are way beyond my limits, things that do not belong to me. it's like wanting to live in the Sun, knowing that her heat will destroy you, yet still holding to that strand of hope that maybe, maybe the scientists got it all wrong. do you see how dumb I am?!
anyways, here's the end of my rant. my life will not be my life, if i gave up on all these things that make me sad. don't get me wrong, in a very weirdly twisted way, i like being sad. i don't know why. it's like you want the pain to end, but you don't mind it staying.
Monday, 8 September 2014
Sunday, 31 August 2014
falling apart
my dog passed away yesterday. and my cat's been missing since last night.
every passing minute without the sound of her bell, i just can't shake the feeling that chances of getting her back is close to nil.
what would i do without her?
i honestly can't fathom my life without her. nothing can ever fill her place in my heart.
you see, this is why i choose not to feel. don't fall in love with people, they always leave. and when they do, you're left broken, shattered. like how i am now. just thinking about the future pains me. what if? yeah, what if.
this is why i only let myself fall in love with things. because things never leave. they stay and remind me of my accomplishments. so please understand that this is the reason i love things more than people.
every passing minute without the sound of her bell, i just can't shake the feeling that chances of getting her back is close to nil.
what would i do without her?
i honestly can't fathom my life without her. nothing can ever fill her place in my heart.
you see, this is why i choose not to feel. don't fall in love with people, they always leave. and when they do, you're left broken, shattered. like how i am now. just thinking about the future pains me. what if? yeah, what if.
this is why i only let myself fall in love with things. because things never leave. they stay and remind me of my accomplishments. so please understand that this is the reason i love things more than people.
Saturday, 16 August 2014
helllew
”It’s funny how i thought
I was good at hiding my
fellings, but then strangers
started asking me what was
wrong and why I looked so
tired and that’s when I
realized you didn’t care
enough to notice”
By: Simone // relhavant
x
i cannot be more grateful to tumblr for providing me with so many source of sad posts like this. :)
anyways, i'm still searching for a nice quote to ink on my inner arm!! been searching high and low but everything I want is either too long or too.. sad. T-T
I was good at hiding my
fellings, but then strangers
started asking me what was
wrong and why I looked so
tired and that’s when I
realized you didn’t care
enough to notice”
By: Simone // relhavant
x
i cannot be more grateful to tumblr for providing me with so many source of sad posts like this. :)
anyways, i'm still searching for a nice quote to ink on my inner arm!! been searching high and low but everything I want is either too long or too.. sad. T-T
Thursday, 24 July 2014
nothing lasts forever
you can't be fixed by the same person who broke you
Stop setting yourself on fire for someone who stays to watch you burn.
words to live by.
nothing lasts forever. love is non existent. people who say they love you and that they mean well for you end up breaking their promises. it's like nothing is real anymore and you don't know what the hell are you doing with your life. nothing is okay and you just feel like dying. you want something to take away the pain. so you use physical pain to distract you from the real pain - the aching of your broken heart.
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