so good

i've been overwhelmed with happiness lately. so happy, that sometimes I anticipate something bad to happen, to make it all fall apart, because i'm really not used to feeling so happy for so long. haha. but praise the Lord, i'm still happy. :)

tomorrow is my birthday. and for the first time in a very long time, i'm actually excited for it. *fingers crossed*

i still remember my birthday last year. the day before I celebrated with Jac and the gang at Station One, followed by KTV at Terminal. it was hell'a fun. however, on the actual day, I was working i think, forgot what job, and I had dinner with my family and also my uncle from Brunei. all throughout the night I was grump! I didn't smile, maybe forced one or two for the camera. I was angry because mum didn't want to buy me a phone. :|

I really didn't enjoy the whole time. and I regretted it the minute I went home. she just wanted me to save for it instead of waiting for special occasions and let them just hand it to me. I was ashamed, I let this little thing get to me and ruined my whole night, my birthday dinner somemore!

that's why I am very very grateful this year. everything is going well thus far - good grades, i have my dream phone now (thank God I finally made up my mind on what phone haha!), good friends who are still by my side (even though we've drifted apart but we made our way back yea hehe), i'm in good terms with my family, no more pre-birthday-emo or anything of that sort. i'm just plain...happy!


and can anyone tell me how accurate birthday wishes are? because if they really do come true then imma wish that I do get my ass into online business. haha. i already made a draft in my head, designing and editing the pics, with hello kitty here and there. haha. what kind of packaging i would use to send out the parcels. but I still haven't found an agent, and not really sure with the procedures, all of which are reasons i'm afraid of taking the risk. it is kind of a big risk, ain't it? what if it doesn't work? hmm.


i need a very powerful wish. xD


x

anyways, here are some of the more uncommon casings i've found and think are quite cute!.
really hope I have customers laaaa if not i'll be buying the casings and use them myself. apuhh.

 i want this ducky omg. hahaha

what do you think? is it a stupid idea, or should I go for it? :) 

可能我浪蕩讓人家不安 才會結果都陣亡

posting up a picture of me smiling, to let y'all know that i'm doing just fine. despite the posts, I just needed a place to rant. :) 




classes commence today! was reluctant to go to campus, as always. but today really shocked me. for the first time, I felt like I didn't belong. for the first time, I felt .. you know, like the little kid in school who everyone avoids. haha. okay maybe it wasn't that bad. just that I felt like things changed. everyone's not the same anymore. of course i'm not referring to ALL, just a certain people who made me feel a bit sad today.

never knew behind those smiles are actually hurtful words. idk. maybe i'm really too 吊儿郎当 that you people cannot take me seriously. or maybe you think i'm not an asset in the group but a liability. i admit i'm not the leader type, but i'm a good follower, a great one in fact! you give me a task and I'll do it, and if I don't know how I'll seek help or guidance from you. isn't that what friends are for? helping each other out?

but no. i'm not even given a chance. whatever. WHATEVER. honestly don't know why people can be like this. i curse you all. CURSE YOU ALL. UGH

Looking for Alaska.

"but I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating."

it's beautiful how certain people are born with the gift to produce magic with their words. I always envy how easily they string words together, yet leave a deep mark in the readers hearts. i really hope my period's coming. cause I've gained weight, have weird emotional struggles with myself, and i've developed the constant need to eat! ugh. i say that i hope my period's coming because at least that way all this is justified, that i'm not just throwing a tantrum because I'm a spoilt brat who has to get what she wants. 


to say that the anger of today is without reason isn't exactly true. i've had my fair share of 'sad-for-no-apparent-reason-just-feel-like-being-sad' days, and today isn't one of them. i just feel under appreciated. i feel that i did quite well for my finals last sem, and all i wanted was a 'great job', or a pat on the back saying that i did well. but i got nothing. 


throughout the weekend it was all about my brothers, angry because they did something wrong and then pulling me into the 'blame list'. i'm sorry but what they do is up to them, i try and try but no one bothers listening to me. it was never my fault they decide to do what they do, they had a choice, yet they chose to do what they did. all i'm capable of is guiding them into the right path, and God knows I did. if you really think me saying him not to do this/that would stop him from doing it then you are wrong. no one give that much a damn about me, obviously. 


so i'm tired of constantly being put down. everyday use the same excuse to break the promises you made to me. i cried and cried and cried but nobody hears me but me. who am i to tell, who would understand how i feel? it's just so hard sometimes. you know, i slept the whole afternoon and it felt great, until i woke up and was reminded how much my life sucked, and i cried again. life was peaceful when I was asleep. why can't i just go to sleep forever? 

somewhere along the way the reality of life gets in the way

blogging because it's 7/7. ahaha


 I read back on my previous posts, in my very first post in this new blog, i said that I'd try my best to make this blog a happier one, with less profanities too. haha. but look at the things I posted after. all angry, and sad, plus vulgarities all over the place. LOL!!

something weird I realized about myself, is that I feel this anger, unexplainable anger, like anything someone does triggers me and my mood is ruined. usually I blame it on 'that time of the month', but idk man. am I a werewolf? I've been feeling the anger lately and it's the full moon right? HAHA. first i'm a vampire and now I'm a werewolf. I must be Klaus' daughter wtf. (only Vampire Diaries fans will get this)

so anyways, 


i give up. I don't know how to blog anymore. sigh

:}

“You can only do so much and then you have to let the person be. That’s the difficult part about loving others - the point where you fight every reflex to fix what needs to be fixed so that they can get to the point of being okay on their own. When you think about it, that’s also how God works with us.”

—	Isa Garcia

she's tough, she tries to hide it. she's difficult. but if you make an effort, she's worth it.

Saturday was pretty hectic for me. had a friendly tennis competition in the afternoon, at 3pm!! the sun was scorching but I'm glad to say that the sunblock was efficient. :D

anyways, I represented dad's company in mixed doubles cause there was no girl representative from his company. ngehehe! dad was supposed to be my partner but he bailed on me! So instead he had his colleague be my partner. he's Indian and his name is Rohit. HAHA!

okay if you didn't get it, I have an ex classmate whose name is Rohit too. just find it funny hearing my dad call him that. LOL

;D

x
 at 8pm, attended Kenny's surprise party. it's been awhile since I saw him, and he's like a brother to me so I'm really glad I went. haha.

the surprise was a total fail.
we got the heads up that they were coming a little too late, and the workers haven't even light the candle so yeah. I was in charge of taking the video, when Kenny walked in everyone started singing, then seeing that the cake wasn't ready, everyone slowly stopped wtf and slowly proceed to sit down. HAHA

met many new people there, since more than half of the table were strangers. -__-
just really glad that I had Jac and Cass there to suffer the awkwardness with me.

Geraldine (new friend) , me and Jac.


x

and just so happens it was Sin Khiew's birthday too that day. :O
they went to her house to surprise her, but sadly I couldn't join that cause I had the dinner :\

thankfully they had a plan B ---- Cheerie Berries.

funny thing was, when we met, another friend of Sin Khiew's said she saw Sing Sien and her friends in Pool Master. haha!! I'm like :O :O :O !
so we went up and sure enough they were there. it's like three gatherings in one night. xD


it was my first time in CB. kinda prefer it over Celebrities, not so overpriced as well. :)
and one of the singer there is so..... hot. T_T
I almost teared at how perfect his face is. how can he be so cute??!

and Sin Khiew was high as always. I swear I look like an old hag standing next to these young people. -_-
they're shaking and dancing and moving their booties and I'm like meh. sitting on the chair and looking around. bahaha

as a good friend, I HELPED TOOK THIS PICTURE!!! ^_^
the guy was funny too, he saw the first pic I took and said no no no retake. LOL!


and as Eugene and Sin Khiew were leaving, ah Ben (who just so happens to be sitting next to our table) offered to help me take a pic with the handsome guy!!

i was torn, go home or take pic?? but what if I look shitty?!?!?! WTF HAHAHA DILEMMA OKAY!
but in the end I gave in, oh damn. heart beat got so much faster as I approached the stage. and there he was so flawless. damn that pretty face ughghghghghg.

haiyyy I swear he looks even better in person. and fuck look how big my face is compare to his. should've asked him to lean forward. T_T

<3 <3 <3



P/s

I have got to look more attractive in pictures man. why can't I look how I look in my vain pictures huh? :(

paiseh my eyes aren't that big. I edited it using an app on my phone. I know you want to know, so go ahead and thank me. it's called "PE-Fotolr".

it looks like this ---> 

cheese tarts!

today was productive!
we had breakfast at 2020, then after we headed to Servay to shop for the materials to make cheese tarts. :B

first of all, during the lesson all I noticed was the cheese cream they used. I took for granted the other important stuffs like butter and flour! so in the end, we didn't know which to use and just chose a random one. big mistake there.

our first trial of tart skin was a big fail!! the color of the flour is ORANGE! wtf. *cringe* but it tasted okay, kinda biscuit-ty but it breaks once we take it out from the mold. :(

we gave up after that, and instead skyped with Bryan and Terry! haahah

so funny.
we even stalked hot guys on tumblr and google :P

Francisco Lachowski
Alex Pettyfer (both of them finally agreed to my taste)
Chris Hemsworth
Chris Evans

hahaah

guess who has two new wallpapers for her phone?  :D


okay so back to the cheese tarts.
after SS and Kri left, I tried to remake the tart skin with flour and butter i found at home, cause the problem with our first trial was the flour!

it was a success !

watching it cook was pure bliss.

but I soon realize there was still a lot to improve on.

let me list down some of the things I need to remember! haha

1. don't mix Oreo with the cheese filling, it becomes too sweet and looks weird. :\
2. don't use the flower shaped mold! the top of the crust burns easily and looks hideous. :S
3. advised to pour milo powder on the cheese tart before baking. looks more attractive hehe.

yeah. sexy tart with Milo powder on top.
still lots more to improve on though - the crust is not like those selling in shops? it's a little too crispy? haha. idk man. another proof I'm not meant for the kitchen. D: